My Head Says Neutrals but My Heart Says Baby Blue | Conscious Styling Decisions vs. Impulse Purchases
Over the past few months, I’ve really been thinking more consciously about my shopping and styling decisions in order to protect both my bank balance and the planet. I’ve been curating my seasonal style inspiration Pinterest boards on a regular basis and have added a Wish List to my blog to keep track of the pieces I want to buy. And it’s been working! I think I could count on one hand the amount of new clothes I’ve bought (excluding charity shop buys) during the first 3 months of 2019 but, despite this, I haven’t been feeling bored or restricted by my wardrobe.
However, as the seasons are changing and the weather is warming up, I’m starting to see gaps in my wardrobe and I’m feeling the urge to shop. I’ve been religiously consulting my Pinterest boards and my Wish List before making any new purchases, thinking about if an item of clothing is really something that I want and am happy to spend my money on, as well as if it fits into what I want my style to be.
My Pinterest boards say that I’m very into neutrals (as do my ‘Saved’ images on Instagram) and neutral outfits are something that I think look really chic and would like to wear more. However, the pieces I gravitate towards and get really excited by don’t necessarily correspond with this. For example, I recently found my dream dress in the form of the Rixo Monet. It’s baby blue and leopard print with floral daisies printed all over it, I mean, far from my neutral aspirations.
I know I’d feel great wearing this dress. I know I’d give up a limb to own it. But it doesn’t fit into my ‘style vision’, so should I still be buying it? Of course, this is totally hypothetical; I don’t have a spare £300 to spend on a dress, or anything for that matter, and if I did, maybe these questions wouldn’t be quite so pressing for me and my wardrobe. But when my budget is limited, I want to make sure the clothes in my wardrobe are all pieces that I love and will get my wear out of. But I’m not sure which methods of purchasing are going to get me to that point.
Personal style is something that fascinates me, mostly because I don’t really think I’ve found my own. I know what clothes I like when I see them but do I dress in a way that is consistent? I don’t think so. And could I sum up my style in 3 words? Definitely not, apart from ‘I’m not sure’. I think people who have found their personal style will struggle less with these questions of conscious shopping decisions vs. impulse buys and can probably find pieces that they will love and wear through both methods. But for me, I’m not so sure that it works that way.
As the title of this post suggests, I am loving baby blue at the moment. Blue is always a colour that I’ve loved wearing; I have blue eyes and people often compliment them when I wear blue clothes so I think it’s become a subconscious liking of mine. So when I saw the satin midi skirt I’m wearing in this post, I knew it had to be mine! But I didn’t buy it straight away because a baby blue midi skirt wasn’t something that had made its way onto my Pinterest boards, or that I’d ever really felt the desire to own before. But I knew I loved this one, so when I saw that it was on sale for 25% off, I snapped it up.
I’ve only worn it once (I mean, that’s pretty good going as it only arrived 4 days ago) and I felt great wearing it but I’ve still found myself thinking a lot about whether it was a responsible purchase. It wasn’t even an impulse purchase as such, but just one that just didn’t fit into my ‘style vision’. Speaking of impulse purchases, I went into Topshop 20 minutes before closing time on Sunday and found a red and white satin mini skirt that I immediately fell for, as it reminded me of a Realisation Par piece that me and my pitiful bank balance have been admiring from afar. I bought it immediately, something I have not done in a while. Usually, I’ll try something on, go home and think about it and then purchase it (or not) a few days later. This was my first proper impulse buy in a while and I felt weirdly guilty about it. My immediate thoughts were ‘well, I can bring it back if I change my mind’. But no part of me wants to take it back. It’s a great piece with so many styling opportunities and it’s not like it broke the bank at £20.
This overthinking about these pieces has made me wonder how consciously I should be thinking about my shopping and styling decisions. I mean, isn’t the fun of fashion being able to wear whatever you like (as the name of my old blog ‘If You Like It Wear It’ would suggest) and whatever you feel represents you? Although my Pinterest boards can certainly be a place of great inspiration, I also worry that they can be a place of restriction too, moulding my style into whatever everyone else is wearing and whatever it is that I think I ‘should’ be wearing
So, to come to some sort of a conclusion, I really don’t know whether it’s best to follow your head or your heart when it comes to personal style. A combination of the two sounds about right, but it’s a tricky balance to perfect! There’s no doubt that thinking more consciously about shopping has improved my bank balance and helped me buy less fast fashion, which can only be a good thing. And using Pinterest really has made me more and more excited about getting dressed in the morning! But I also don’t think there’s anything wrong with buying a piece of clothing without having thought it through for hours and hours. Impulse purchases can be good for the soul and there’s no harm in them every once in a while. After all, there’s nothing quite like the excitement of buying something that you love on a whim and I wouldn’t want to lose that!
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this subject! Are you more of a planner and conscious thinker when it comes to buying new clothes or are you all about impulse purchases? Let me know in the comments!
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Having Confidence in Doing Your Own Thing
Having Confidence in Doing Your Own Thing
Photography by Ami Ford.
I'm finally back with a new blog post after a brief hiatus due to a busy couple of weeks and some personal struggles, which I will go into more later in the post. But I've been wanting to write on this topic and share these photos for what feels like forever now and I'm finally getting round to it today. These photos were taken by the incredible Ami Ford, whose work I had admired from afar for some time and so was delighted to be able to shoot with her, and I'm so happy with the outcome! You can find her on Instagram here, Twitter here or visit her website here.
Today's post is inspired by these photos and specifically, the location that these photos were taken in. This was perhaps one of the busiest road in Manchester on the Sunday afternoon we were shooting on, meaning I really had to have confidence in what I was doing as posing in the middle of a very busy road in a bright yellow midi dress with every passerby staring at you with confused/baffled looks can/could have been an uncomfortable situation. In fact, posing for photos in any situation, even if there are only one or two confused onlookers, and sharing them on social media is quite a daunting concept generally and something I'm still trying to become totally comfortable in.
Having Confidence in Doing Your Own Thing
Anything that you do that is a little bit different, especially if it involves self-promotion, is probably going to be scary and weird. Since becoming more confident in doing my own thing, my life has only improved however I'm still not 100% there yet at all. So much so that, after a little (read: huge) wobble after moving to UNI last week, I considered not writing this post as I didn't think I was qualified to discuss this topic. But then I realised that if I wait till I feel totally comfortable in myself and my interests and habits, I'm probably never going to get round to writing it as I don't even know if it's possible to feel that way to such an extent. So I thought I would use this post to discuss the areas of my life in which I'm trying to become more comfortable in doing my own thing whilst also providing some tips to help others do the same.
INTERESTS AND IDEAS: STARTING MY BLOG
The first area in which I've really had to push myself out of my comfort zone is, as you might have guessed from the first part of this post and from previous posts, starting and running this blog. Having a blog, especially one that is fashion/style-based, means you’re constantly having to promote yourself and, at times, bare your soul to the internet, not knowing who's going to see it or what reaction it's going to get. These are the reasons why it took me so long to properly commit to having a blog but, as with most things, now I have it these two things, and everything else that comes along with it, are not so scary at all.
Having Confidence in Doing Your Own Thing
I do still feel a little bit uncomfortable with the self-promotion thing and it's definitely not my favourite part about having a blog, especially in person, but it's something that I've got used to and definitely don't feel scared or embarrassed about anymore. The only advice I really have for starting something you want to do whether it's a blog, a YouTube channel, a music career etc. is just start it. Everyone says this but it's so true. You're going to have to get over being embarrassed about it and, if it's something you feel passionately about and enjoy, you'll get over it so much quicker than you think. Plus, if you're surrounded by good people then they'll support you and if you aren't, at least it will help you realise that there are some shitty people in your life who don't need to be there.
SOCIAL AND PERSONAL LIFE: GOING OUT AND DRINKING ALCOHOL
The next part of my life where I've had to try and do my own thing, and probably the most difficult part for me, is learning how I like to spend my time and realising that this is not how most people my age, in my situation like to do so. Yep, this is the part where I reveal that I'm 19 going on 90, far more inclined to spend my Saturday night watching Strictly Come Dancing then getting drunk and staying up till 5am. I've not always been like this, I used to love a good night out and a drink, admittedly before it was legal/acceptable for me to do so, and I think that's part of the reason why it's mostly not for me anymore.
Having Confidence in Doing Your Own Thing
Some people don't ever grow out of getting drunk and partying but a lot of people do and I think because I started out so early I am just a little bit bored by it now and definitely not excited by it. The other reasons why I've retired from being a party type of girl are much more difficult to navigate as they're purely health related. I've struggled with IBS and anxiety, as you'll probably know if you've read my blog before, for over 2 years now and they are both extremely negatively affected by drinking alcohol and a lack of sleep. I'm not going to go into it too much, because you really don't want to know about my digestive issues, trust me, but after drinking 3-4 ciders on Thursday night, I was not only fairly drunk (I've always been a lightweight but my lack of drinking has only accentuated that) but I spent the entirety of Friday with horrendous stomach pains, meaning I struggled to stand up by the end of the day, plus any feelings of anxiety are multiplied by 100.
This has been quite difficult for me because, as a student, the main activity that my friends engage in is drinking alcohol (FYI: I don't judge them for this at all, everyone enjoys different things and they're just as entitled to enjoy drinking as I am to not enjoy it). However, in my experience, the best thing you can do in these types of situations is be open with people. No one is going to get annoyed with you if you tell them how negatively you feel about doing something (even if your reasons for this aren't health-related) but they might if you cancel on plans last minute with an obviously-fake excuse or constantly decline their plans with no explanations. My friends are always so kind to me about not drinking or not going out and try to make effort with me to organise different types of things to do, meaning I rarely have to force myself through awkward and anxious nights and even worse morning-afters, something that was a weekly affair for me during my first year of UNI when I refused to be honest with anyone about it.
Having Confidence in Doing Your Own Thing
MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES: DEALING WITH ANXIETY
The final thing I want to discuss is dealing with mental health issues and I know this sounds weird because 'doing your own thing' does not usually equate to having anxiety. But I think the most important thing in dealing with a mental health problem is accepting it and being confident that you know what the best things to do for you are and doing them, no matter what anyone else thinks. If you want to eat a pack of biscuits for tea because that's the only thing you feel hungry for and you don't have the energy to make anything else, do it (this is a case study from my life, specifically during the last week). If you feel like you need an extension on an essay or any sort of mitigating circumstances, talk to someone at your school/college/UNI about it.
You're the only person who knows exactly how you feel and you can't be embarrassed about your needs or the way you're feeling and avoid them because no one else is going to be able to guess what you want to do and help you. Something I found difficult last year and over the past week since moving back to UNI is feeling like I need/want to come home because being at UNI makes me anxious. There is such a stigma around going home from UNI, in my experience, because people feel as though they need to 'stick it out' to prove their independence and that UNI is the best years of their life. I felt the same way last year and forced myself to stay for UNI for weeks even though I knew a weekend at home would do me the world of good and I was very much in a position to go home. Now, mostly because of the incredible support of my friends and family, I feel absolutely no shame in coming home for a weekend or even every weekend, because if that's what I need to do to get through the days without a panic attack then that's what I'll do.
I realise this post has been a little bit of a ramble but it's something that I've wanted to speak about for a while and, clearly, have a lot to say about. I hope it's inspired you to do something this week that you want to do for you, whether that's starting a blog, saying no to something you don't want to do or booking an appointment with a counsellor. Be sure to leave me a comment or message me on social media if you want to discuss this topic further or talk about my experiences or your experiences. My DM's on Twitter and Instagram are always open!
Having Confidence in Doing Your Own Thing
Having Confidence in Doing Your Own Thing
Having Confidence in Doing Your Own Thing
Having Confidence in Doing Your Own Thing
Having Confidence in Doing Your Own Thing
Having Confidence in Doing Your Own Thing
Having Confidence in Doing Your Own Thing
Having Confidence in Doing Your Own Thing
Having Confidence in Doing Your Own Thing
Having Confidence in Doing Your Own Thing
Dressing For Yourself
Photography by Jenny Gavan.
I've always been an advocate of wearing whatever you want and it's something I've *pretty much* always been comfortable doing. This doesn't mean that I'm always dressed eccentrically and go out of my way to dress differently. But I really could not care less if someone doesn't like what I'm wearing whether that's friends, family or someone on Instagram. It's possibly the only thing I've always been comfortable in because I really do just love clothes- buying them, styling them, talking about them. I know what I like and if I love a piece then I'm going to feel great wearing it.
I remember in high school (well, we wore uniforms but I mean during that period in my life) I would buy things that were perhaps slightly *different* to the norm that my friends and family would look at a little weirdly- never in a malicious way, always politely. The amount of times I've heard the phrase 'I could never pull that off' or 'it suits you but I could never wear that' as a polite way of someone telling me that they don't like what I'm wearing is comical. But, unlike if someone commented on my physical appearance or something I've said, I've never felt embarrassed or upset about the fact that some people don't like what I wear. It's definitely something to do with being able to choose what I wear and using this as a sort of shield to hide the other parts of myself that I'm not so confident about. Sometimes I'll buy a particular shape of dress to hide a bigger part of my body that I'm not totally comfortable with (usually my boobs) or I'll wear a 'party girl' type of outfit for a night out to conceal the fact that I probably am not as comfortable as the people I'm with in a night club. My clothes fill the gaps within me that have formed as a result of the lack of confidence I have in some other parts of myself.
My old blog was initially called 'Style Comes From Within' which I changed, after a couple of years, to 'If You Like It Wear It' (a little cringey, I know). Not to psychoanalyse my past self, but I think these names epitomise my confidence in my style. I was too embarrassed to share this blog on social media or even with my friends, due to issues I had with self-promotion and vanity plus my attempts to keep up the typical teenage 'I don't care about anything' persona. Despite this, I was always proud of what I was wearing and excited to share it with people online who wouldn't judge me for having a blog (as I assumed my peers would during my high school years). I actually think it would be interesting/hilarious to share some of my past outfits in a sort of style evolution post on my blog so let me know if this is something you'd like to see!
One of my absolute pet hates is when people (of both genders) assume that girls dress for boys. This is probably an assumption made more often when I was younger but it used to drive me absolutely insane! I mean I guess there's nothing wrong with dressing for boys (although if we dug in to the meaning behind this I guess it could be a little problematic) but it's genuinely something I've never done. Nights out used to be so much fun because finding something to wear that I loved was so exciting and the only thing that I considered when deciding what to wear was what I thought and how I felt in a certain outfit- this also meant that many of my outfits were highly, highly impractical but no one is going to get a kick out of living by practicality.
This 'dressing for boys' phenomenon is part of the reason why I absolutely love the blog turned extremely successful business, Man Repeller. I'm sure many of you know about Man Repeller already but in case you don't it was founded by Leandra Medine in 2010 who realised that much of what she wore and saw within the fashion industry was 'man repelling' (to put it simply). The popularity of this blog and resonance it has with so many women represents, to me, the extent to which women do not dress for men, because much of what we wear they don't like anyway. I feel like this is certainly the case for me and, honestly, this sometimes makes me like what I'm wearing more because it makes me feel like I have some sort of special sixth sense about just how cool a piece is. This is obviously extremely pretentious and I definitely do not have any sort of stylistic powers but I like to think that some of the more interesting pieces I own happen to be the ones that less people like.
I've been wanting to write a post about dressing for yourself for a while and when Jenny photographed this outfit for me, I knew these photos would be perfect for it. First of all, I am so happy with how they came out! Jenny is an incredible photographer and I've done a few other shoots with her before but these photos have to be my favourite yet. I think the outfit and the setting go so well together and I just love the colours in the photos. Definitely check out Jenny's Instagram because she is brilliant!
Anyway, on to the outfit! I feel like it's a little bit 'man-repelling' due to the mixture of very feminine and very masculine pieces. This dress is fairly new from Zara and I love it! I was on the hunt for a polka dot midi skirt for a while and this actually works great as a skirt and a dress as it's a really thin material so looks great with a t-shirt layered over it, or layered under it as I've styled it here! The jacket is also new (my shopping habits are steadily increasing at the moment) from Topshop and I really feel like it might be the perfect faux leather jacket. I have a long-line one and a cropped one but this mid-crop style is ideal for somewhere in between and, although some might say that owning 3 faux leather jackets is excessive, I think it's filled a gap in my wardrobe. Of course, I'm wearing my Zara woven bucket bag because it's my absolute favourite and I think it looks great with the colours of the pinewoods. The dress and the bag are obviously the feminine aspects of the outfit and clashed with my docs- which I enjoyed styling for spring/summer here as they're more of a winter piece normally- and the leather jacket, I think is such a cool outfit, if a little bit Marmite. I've linked everything I'm wearing at the bottom of this post!
I'd love to know if you feel the same way about dressing for yourself and your views on 'man-repelling' styling. Do you have a favourite man-repelling outfit or piece? Let me know in the comments!
