Student Flat, But Make it Home (& Chic)
One thing becoming a university student has made me realise is that I’m very affected by my surroundings. Living in student halls with absolutely zero personality and a student house that was covered in mould and that we barely even tried to decorate made me miserable. I don’t think I realised, at the time, how much the places I was living in contributed to my feelings about university and student life, but after writing many pros and cons lists and really thinking about what I didn’t like about university, I realised much of it was down to where I was living.
So as I’ve touched on previously in my blog post on not fitting into the student stereotype, for my final year of university, I’m moving out of the student area of Manchester I’ve lived in for the past 2 years which I found to be depressing and anxiety-inducing and I’m moving into the centre of Liverpool. I’m sure commuting will come up with its own problems and I don’t doubt that there will be some moans and groans on my part when it comes to getting up an hour earlier and getting home an hour later, but I am sure that living in an area that I love in a flat that feels like home will make it all worth it.
But how am I living in a flat that I like and decorating it as such on a student budget, you might ask? Well, with about as much struggle as there is success but, again, the end result makes the struggle worth it. In terms of looking for a flat, my flatmate and I were determined not to settle. We looked at at around 15 flats, none of which we were besotted with, but most of which I probably would have been happy to take if I was looking at them during my house search for second year. Just as we thought we’d never find somewhere we liked within our budget, whilst standing outside in the pouring rain waiting for the estate agent to turn up, we found our flat! And it is pretty much perfect. Super close to the station for me, and really close to my flatmates uni. 2 bedrooms, and 2 bathrooms and an open-plan kitchen and living room, with lots of added details you don’t usually get in a student house, like a dining table, tv stand and bookshelf. Plus, it has beautiful woodwork throughout and gets so much natural light.
All this, and it is well within our budget, much cheaper than many of the flats we had looked at previously that weren’t even half as nice, and also cheaper than my first and second year accommodation. So, if you’re in the same position as me and wanting to find genuinely nice student accommodation, or any accommodation I guess, within your budget, the most important thing to do is just keep looking for as long as you can and don’t settle on the first or second one you see.
Even if you’re not happy with the place you’re living in though, I think decorating it is the most important way to make it feel like home. This can be a struggle on a student budget but I’m already finding ways to find pieces I love for my flat on a budget and I am changing the way I spend money so I spend less money on clothes and eating out, for example, and more on interiors.
These photos were taken a couple of weeks after moving into the flat and so far, the living room is my favourite part of it. However I’m looking forward to adding a personal touch to every room and nook and cranny of it and making it more of a home for me to live in over the next year. But for now, I hope you enjoy these photos of the initial progress we’ve made with our flat.
I think it’s so easy to look at student houses from the perspective of ‘there’s no point decorating it- I’m only going to be living there for a year’. But a year is a long time, and these years you spend living in student accommodation add up to at least three years of your life, so it’s definitely worth making your student home a place you love, especially if you’re affected by your surroundings as much as I am.
I’m hoping that I can provide some tips and inspiration on student/budget interiors and interiors more generally on my blog and social media, starting with this blog post and also a brand new interiors page I’ve added to the ‘SHOP’ section of my blog, where you can shop everything that’s currently in my home and on my never-ending wish list.
There will definitely be a post coming soon on tips for decorating your home on a budget so if anyone has any particularly good ideas that I can add to that post, please leave them in the comments!
Products in this post (affiliate links marked with a *)
Why Academic Failure was One Of The Best Things That Ever Happened To Me
(some links used are affiliate which means I earn a small amount of commission if you purchase an item)
Dress- Nobody’s Child
Shoes- Primark (similar here)
For as long as I can remember, grades have been very important to me. I mean, I’ve literally spent my entire life that I can remember in education. I’m lucky because I generally did well at school. I was never top of my class but I never struggled to get by. But when it got to serious exams and I started putting a little bit more work in than normal and my grades rapidly improved, I realised that if I worked a little bit harder than most people I could do pretty well!
And that’s great, right? I learnt that hard work paid off at an early age and the people around me were quite impressed that I was willing to work so hard. But the gratification I got from seeing my hard work pay off was maybe a little bit too much and gradually, I started to become obsessed with my grades. Giving up on other hobbies I enjoyed and neglecting friendships and my social life in order to see just how far hard work could get me.
And to a point, it did get me far. I climbed my way to the the top of my classes! I was on track to get into a great university on a course I was excited about! But none of that really mattered to me anyway because all I cared about was seeing my hard work pay off and achieving the ultimate gratification: my A-Level results.
Everyone around me (teachers, family etc.) were pretty confident that I was going to get the grades I wanted. I mean, I’d been getting them consistently for around two years and I worked harder than ever for my final exams. I wasn’t majorly worried either. ‘If I drop one grade, that’s ok. I didn’t like that class anyway.’ But that was all the reassurance I gave to myself, dropping one grade is ok. Any more? Unspeakable.
I mean, this story is becoming pretty predictable. Of course, I didn’t get the grades I wanted. I got good grades, but they were nowhere near what I wanted and I’ve truly never felt heartbreak like reading the letters printed on that A4 piece of paper.
I cried for about 6 hours straight. And then I cried some more, for weeks. I stopped crying eventually but I didn’t really get over it. I still haven’t really got over it, knowing that hard work doesn’t always pay off and that sometimes people are just unlucky. It’s kind of a hard pill to swallow.
Everyone was telling me that I shouldn’t be upset because I did really well and I had got into my first choice university and many people hadn’t achieved either of these things, which is true, and I did feel unjustified in being so upset. But dedicating two years of my life to these exams and knowing there was nothing more I could have done to get better grades yet still not getting the results I wanted completely knocked my self-confidence and everything I thought I knew about hard work.
But now I look at it differently. What felt like the biggest failure of my life was actually one of the best things that ever happened to me because it allowed me to let go of academic perfectionism. Knowing that hard work doesn’t always pay off means that I’ve learned to live a little and enjoy the other parts of my life that are always gratifying, like holidays and day trips and talking to my best friend on the phone for 2 hours; days out that I’ll remember forever and days in bed that will almost definitely be forgotten, but that doesn’t make them any less pleasurable or important.
My academic failure and what felt like the worst day of my life was actually one of the best things that has ever happened to me, because days and weeks of crying into my cereal and doubting my ability to do anything turned into me letting go of my perfectionist ways and learning to enjoy life again. And now I look at my grades as a very small part of my life, rather than something that defines me and I consider so many things, including the people around me, my mental and physical health and the things that I enjoy doing, as so much more important than numbers on a piece of paper.
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The Pressure to be Productive is Making us Less Productive
Being busy is a seen as a badge of honour in the modern world, or at least the one I’m living in. Did you really stay up till 2 am working if you didn’t tell everyone you saw about it the next day? It’s something I’ve definitely fallen victim to, working myself too hard mostly just to create the impression that I’m working myself too hard. Of course, everyone has busy times in their lives and this blog post isn’t saying that we should’t complain about them or that we should keep our stress to ourselves. What I’m trying to say, instead, is that there’s more to life than work, whatever form it comes in, and the pressure to be constantly productive isn’t letting us embrace that which means we are failing to ‘be the best version of ourselves’, as the cliché goes, in work and in life.
Something I realised when I set myself the new years resolution to take more time off from work is that taking time off actually makes the time I spend working far more productive. For example, I mostly take Sundays off university work now, which means the work I do during the rest of the week, especially on Fridays and Saturdays, is much more focussed, as I’m determined to get it done so I can have a guilt free Sunday off. Taking Sundays off also largely means that I feel much less exhausted and depressed about starting work on a Monday because I know it’s only 6 days until a day off, meaning the quality of my work is usually better.
Of course, taking a day off isn’t some brand new thing that I’ve discovered. Most people in ‘normal’ 9-5 jobs always have weekends off! But, since starting my A-Levels almost 4 years ago, I have never had a proper day off and would spend my days feeling lethargic and not doing the best work that I could because I was so exhausted and bored by its never ending nature. I truly believe that, for most people, spending less time working doesn’t mean that you’re going to get less work done.
That belief is the main reason why I think the pressure to be productive is making us less productive. So many of the people who are bragging about staying up till 2am working have probably spent hours of that procrastinating, which is fine. We all procrastinate and no one is 100% focussed all the time! But often the only reason, I’ve found, that people work, for example, till 2am is for the gratification of doing so, not because their work really requires that amount of time.
If you’re reading this and thinking ‘But I really DO have that much work!’ Fair enough, maybe you do! I know I did last month when I had 3 essays due in the space of a week (humble productivity brag, I’m just THAT used to it). I’m not trying to tell you that you’re not as busy as you think because a lot of us are busy. But just stop and consider if you’re only spending so much time working because you think you should be, when your work could realistically be done in a smaller time frame by, maybe, cutting down on unnecessary routines/habits.
For example, I used to make notes on my laptop on all the books I was reading for uni whilst I was reading them, which was very time-consuming and largely useless as I only ever ended up writing essays or exams on a 3 or 4 books and I had notes on 10 on them. It felt very good to have all my notes there though. I love being organised and preparing for all outcomes so this way of studying felt like, well, the only way for me. But as part of cutting down my working hours, I realised that this time-consuming method wasn’t really necessary. So now I just do it for the books I’m particularly interested in or the ones I decide to write my essay/exam on after reading the book.
That example is very specific to my English Literature degree but I’m sure everyone has similar things they do as part of their working routine that aren't really necessary and that they could cut out or spend less of their time on. I’ve cut down the time I spend on university work by about 30% and I was honestly very worried that it was going to affect my grades negatively, but it hasn’t so far because cutting down in this way has improved my mental health so much which, in turn, has allowed me to do things faster and, often, better.
I still sometimes feel the pressure to tell everyone how busy I am, especially when others tell me the same thing. And I definitely feel guilty about taking time off. Because I do feel busy and I feel like taking time off suggests I’m not as busy as I am. But you know what, who really cares? It’s not healthy to be productive ALL the time - I should know as living that way has been so detrimental to my mental health - and we need to stop treating an overly busy and ‘productive’ life as a positive thing as this only encourages overworking.
This post feels a little bit all over the place but changing the way I think about productivity really has been life-changing for me so I just wanted to get my thoughts out there. I think the best thing we can all do to dismantle this complex many of us have around being busy and productive is to stop bragging about it; next time there’s empty space in a conversation, try not to fill it by talking about how much work you have or how much work you’ve done. It’s such a bad habit of mine and it’s so hard not to do but leaving it out of the conversation can generally only be a positive thing.
I’m just talking about this productivity complex from my perspective but if you really are feeling completely overwhelmed and stressed by your work please do talk to those around you about it and maybe think about talking to a mental health professional too.
Otherwise, if you’re going to take anything away from this blog post let it be that:
Spending lots of time working doesn’t equate to doing productive work.
Time off is necessary and can actually make you more productive and, more importantly, can benefit your mental health in so many ways.
Constantly talking about how busy you are will only make you and those around you more stressed and feeds into many of our productivity complexes.
Enjoy your week, take some time off, and try not use how busy you are with work as a conversation filler!
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I Just Turned 20 and I Can't Stop Thinking About My Future
In my experience, there’s two types of university students: 1. those who cannot stop thinking about their future career and are doing everything in their power to prepare for it, 2. those who are purely focussed on university and making the most of their degree. Until recently, I would have put myself in the latter category but, at the moment, I just can’t stop thinking about what I’m going to do when I finish my English Literature undergrad degree.
Maybe it’s because I’ll be out of university and into the world of work in just over a years time or maybe it’s because I’ve become a little bit bored of my degree. In reality, it’s a combination of the two. I find myself all too often wishing my life away and I think it’s largely because I think a lot about things and often get excited about the future, an exciting job! A decent salary! A nice flat! I don’t have any of these things now and, to be perfectly honest, I might not even have them in a few years time. But I do feel quite optimistic about starting a career and leaving university and I just can’t stop fantasizing about it.
I’m not really thinking about anything long-term. I’ve never thought properly about what I’ll be doing in 20 years time. But thoughts about how my life will change over the next 10 years won’t leave my mind. Maybe it’s because I’ve read so many books and consumed so much media generally about women in their 20s (Dolly Alderton’s Everything I Know About Love anyone?) but I also think it’s because I’m leaving the education system for the first time ever and there’s nothing predictable about that!
I often feel guilty because I’m not as focussed on my degree as I used to be, perhaps because I’m not enjoying the rest of university life as much as I used to, but also because there are so many other things I’m doing that excite me more! I’m really lucky to, seemingly, be one of the few people who actually enjoys their degree but I am becoming more and more frustrated with its repetitive nature (read 10 books, write an essay, read 5 more books, sit an exam, repeat) and I can’t wait for my everyday life to become a little bit more interesting (and by interesting, I mean literally doing anything different to the process I just described).
By no means am I fooling myself in thinking that I’m going to get a well-paid job that I love straight out of university. I’m prepared not to have too much money for the next few years as well as working a few shitty jobs to get to a place where I’m happy. But any change from the monotony of 16 years in education will be a welcome one at this point!
Until then, lots of unpaid ‘passion projects’ on the side will have to keep me going and I’m going to try and make the most of my degree in the mean time!
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How to Become More Organised and Productive as A Student | 5 Tips That Will Make Your Life Easier
I would definitely describe myself as an organised person. In fact, I’m maybe too organised. I am by no means a tidy person or an ‘on time’ person so I’m definitely not organised in every sense of the word but when it comes to work, which in my case is university work, I like to have everything organised down to a tee.
This is a good thing in many ways, as it usually means I’m on top of my work, which prevents a lot of stress. But it also means that I become ridiculously stressed if I do fall behind my own schedule, which doesn’t even generally mean falling behind my university work, just my own made-up schedule.
So, personally I’m actually working on being more laid-back and trying to go with the flow a little bit more. But I know a lot of people do struggle with getting organised when it comes to work, and specifically university work. And because I have really perfected my methods of organisation over the years, I thought I should share them for those of you who are looking to become more organised and, at the end of the day, make your life easier.
Although putting all of these things into place will take a little bit of time, once you have done so, I can guarantee your life will be easier. They’ll make you less stressed by ensuring you don’t leave anything to the night before and, hey, they might even make you enjoy studying a little bit more, god forbid! Hopefully they will also ensure you spend less time procrastinating so you have more time do whatever you want with.
Get Prepared and Invest in All The Stationery
I’m hoping this tip will be music to some of your ears! I’m giving you free reign to spend lots of money on stationary! But if this doesn’t sound particularly exciting to you, stay with me, there is method in my (stationery obsessed) madness.
You couldn’t run a marathon without a good pair of trainers (I couldn’t run one with them, but you get my point) and you can’t get organised without all the materials you need to do so. You don’t necessarily need to spend a lot of money on the stationery you need either. Head to WHSmith if you’re happy for that do the job!
However, I personally find that investing in nice stationery that is also practical makes me excited to get organised. For example, since investing in a new desk planner, I love planning my week and don’t feel overwhelmed by it at all, because of the all the different sections to it which allow me to see my week in a balanced way. But like I said, whatever floats your boat is fine. This tip is more about making sure you’ve got the supplies you need to get organised.
Here’s a list of the things you need to up your organisation game as well as some shoppable links to the stationary I own or recommend, whether you’re after something a lil bit fancy or want to keep it simple…
A Diary/Planner for important dates, to-do lists and so you generally know what day of the week it is.
A Desk Planner so you can plan your days and weeks in advance and feel less overwhelmed by everything you need to do. I’m more of a weekly planner person but some people prefer daily planners or both.
Flash cards because they are essential for exam revision and having them on hand means you don’t have to run round the shops a few days before your exam, wasting valuable revision time.
Highlighters and coloured pens because colour coordination will change your life!
A notepad and/or desk pad so you always have somewhere to jot down random and important notes and thoughts plus a place to make to-do lists.
Post it notes because they always come in useful especially for revision and for making notes in books, very useful for an English student.
2. Plan, Plan, Plan and Write Everything Down
Obviously, a key part of being organised is planning but I’d also recommend that, in your planning processes you write everything down. Personally, as soon as I am given all my deadlines (whether they’re for essays, exams or just week-to-week reading deadlines) at the beginning of the semester, I write them all down in my diary on the dates when they are due, right up until the end of the semester.
I also write any other plans I have down, such as trips away, nights out etc. I use a paper planner for uni stuff but I tend to use an online Google Calendar and other online resources for blog organisation and any extra-curriculars as these things tend to change around a lot more than my university work does, so it’s just easier to do it online.
It takes about half an hour to write all of this down but it will make your life so much easier because every time you want to check when you need to read a certain book by, or when an essay is due, rather than logging in to your student account, you can just flick through your diary and see when it is. This also gives you more of a feel as to how long you have left to complete your tasks i.e. 5 flicks (assuming your diary has a week on a 2 page spread) don’t worry about it, 3 flicks maybe start thinking about it, 1 or 2 flicks, you really need to get started!
I’d also recommend colour coding everything, using your lovely pens and highlighters you’ve just bought! I’ve taken three modules this semester so I use a different coloured pen for each module and write all the reading, deadlines and whatever else I need to complete for that module using that colour. Again, when looking through your diary, this just makes it easier to see what’s going on that week and the module you might need to focus on a little bit more. See below for an example of a week’s spread in my diary:
3. Do Everything A Week Ahead
This one is a biggie for me in terms of how I keep up to date with my university work. After planning out all your deadlines in your planner, you can easily see when work is due, so you don’t really have any excuses to do things last minute! With this, it’s best to get everything done a week ahead.
My rule is, generally, everything for the following week must be done by the Sunday of this week. So if I have two books to read and an essay to write, for example, for the week starting Monday the 11th February, I would have ideally got started on all of them on Monday 4th February, or the weekend of the 2nd February, if my workload for that week is really heavy.
I know this sounds overwhelming but if most of your work is set in advance, like mine is, it just makes life so much easier to get it done in advance and it means you never get that overwhelming feeling of ‘I have so much work to do for tomorrow and the seminar tutor is going to ask me a question on the book I haven’t read’ because even if you do fall behind your schedule by a few days, you’ll still be on top of the current week!
4. Find Out How & Where You Like To Work
This one is essential in order to actually enjoy (as much as is possible) the time you spend working and, also, in order to get the most work done. Do you prefer working in the library or at home? I’m more of a working at home typa gal but a couple of hours spent in the library can sometimes be super productive for me, depending on my mood.
Do you work better during a ‘normal’ 9-5 working day or would you rather have your morning to yourself and do more of an 11-7 day? Personally, I think I work best during the hours of 10-6, so I tend to stick to that.
Do you work really well by turning your phone off for 3 hours and smashing out work, followed by a long break, or are you better with short bursts of productivity with short breaks (e.g. the Pomodoro Method?) I’m somewhere in the middle but I’ve learnt that putting a timer on anything makes me hate what I’m doing, so I just leave my phone in the other room and work for as long as possible till I feel like I need a break; sometimes I can go for a couple of hours, sometimes I struggle to do a couple of minutes.
What I’m trying to say is that to be organised and to get your work done in time, you need to be working in a way that suits you. Because if you’re not, firstly, you won’t enjoy it at all and, secondly, you won’t get half as much done as you could. So trial and error all of these different methods and find a way of working that is perfect for you.
Also, don’t just do things because they work for other people! Sure, some people are really productive when they do an all-nighter in the library but personally, I know my brain wouldn’t function at all in that environment. So really make it personal and don’t worry about other people’s judgement.
5. Allocate Time Off
And finally, a tip that seems kind of counter-productive right? How is taking time off going to make you more organised? Well, let me tell you! This is one that I’ve only started doing recently as I mentioned in my New Years Resolutions styled blog post. But taking time off has made the time I do spend doing work so much more bearable and has actually helped me reach my goals, because rather than just putting it off till tomorrow, I know that if I don't do it today, my day off will be spent feeling stressed.
So I personally take a day off every Sunday. When I say off, I mean off university work. I still work on my blog and all of my other extracurriculars but I do not allow myself to do university work, no matter what. It’s currently Sunday whilst I’m writing this post and I don’t feel stressed at all, as yesterday I pushed myself to finish the work I needed to for the week so I could enjoy today. That was my only motivation to get the work done though and before giving myself an official day off, I would always feel hopeless about my workload and view it as never-ending, because it essentially did feel like it could go on forever.
And here’s the thing, if you don’t give yourself time off, your work will go on forever! Not because you have so much work that you can’t fit into 5 or 6 days of the week but because you’re probably not using your time efficiently enough, maybe because you haven’t planned everything out, maybe because you’re not working in a way that’s optimised for you or maybe it’s just because you know you can always finish it tomorrow.
But if you don’t give yourself that final option, or any of the others, you’ll stop procrastinating as much, which means you can spend more time doing things you really enjoy, providing more motivation to get your work done; it’s a bit of a productivity cycle really! It’s revolutionised my productivity levels and made me feel more happy generally.
I’m very aware that this blog post is extremely long (who knew I had so much to say about organisation hey?) but I really wanted to provide comprehensive instructions on how to get organised as a student, and I hope I have!
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Healthy Habits I'm Putting Into Place In 2019
Jumper- Urban Outfitters (old, similar here)
Necklace- ASOS
Jeans- Topshop (old, but these ones are basically the same)
We’re almost a week in to 2019 and this first week has been a weird one. I was expecting a rush of motivation and excitement about my work, but the reality is that a large part of my University work is just as dull to me as it was before Christmas, if not more! I’m trying not to put to much pressure on myself to feel super motivated though. After all, just because the calendar year has changed, it doesn’t mean anything else has or that it should.
That’s why when I was setting my New Years Resolutions, I tried not to make them too far-reaching or pressurised because that’s just not helpful. I know some people are totally against the idea of New Years Resolutions but I, for one, like them. They’re a good opportunity to take some time to think about what you’d like to do and how you’d like your life to be in the next 12 months and a year is a good amount of time to set and work towards any goals you want to reach.
Some of my New Years Resolutions are more goals based, although, like I said, none of them are too ambitious because I don’t want to be putting pressure on myself. But today I thought I’d just share my resolutions that are more about habits I want to introduce into my life, mostly to look after myself. In fact, more than half of my New Years Resolutions are focussed on self-care because the last 3(ish) years of my life I’ve been really difficult for me and my mental health and I don’t think I’ve focussed on looking after myself enough. So I’m hoping 2019 is going to be the year of self-care for me! Work and everything else is important but I can’t do any of it if I’m not functioning properly, so here are the ways in which I’m going to try and ensure I can be a fully(ish) functioning human in 2019…
Have A Day Off Every Week
This one is going to be the most important for me. Being a student, it often feels like if you’re not working 24/7 at unusual hours, you’re not doing enough. I don’t know where this attitude has come from but it’s well and truly embedded in student culture, at least at my University, and is upheld by most students. But as December came around last year and I felt not only physically and mentally exhausted but completely drained and bored by my work, I realised that this culture of overworking is not only harmful to my mental health, but also to my studies and the quality of my work.
I was literally counting down the days until the Christmas break because I was so desperate to just not think about work for a period of time. But as the Christmas break came to an end (it only really lasted about a week because I have January essays and exams) a feeling of complete dread came over me, and I was becoming so anxious and feeling really down about the thought of starting work again.
So I started thinking about my options. Dropping out of Uni? Doing barely any work and scraping a pass? Working myself to death and feeling miserable? None of these options seemed like they would have positive effects. And then I realised, what about if I take a day off every week? I wasn’t really sure if it was possible because of my workload. But I’ve thought about it and put some plans into place and realised, not only is it possible, but it’s going to be so positive for me, my social life, my mental health and (I hope) the quality of my University work.
I am still going to be doing blogging related ‘work’ on my day off, which is going to be on a Sunday, because, firstly, I don’t really have time to do it during the week very much and, secondly, because blogging doesn’t really feel like work to me. But my university work is going to be restricted to Monday-Saturday, no exceptions. My next habit will explain how this is going to be possible…
2. Get Into A Working Routine
As mentioned, student culture tells you that if you’re not staying up all night to work, you’re not really doing enough. But I’ve come to realise that this is only true for people who don’t wake up until the afternoon or would rather abandon their work for 3 weeks and, instead, pull a couple of all nighters and get it done then.
But, personally, I’m happy to get up at a normal time (pre-7am is kind of impossible but waking up at 7:30/8 feels completely fine for me). I also generally feel quite anxious in the evenings, so this really isn’t the best time for me to be trying to complete important work. I actually feel my best, and therefore do my best work, in the day time.
So I’ve decided that from Monday-Friday, my work hours will, mostly, be restricted to 10-6. I’ve gone with 10am because that’s when my University day usually starts (i.e. this is when most of my lectures and seminars start) and 6pm because an 8 hour working day feels like a good amount.
My working routine prior to 2019 was kind of similar to this, but some Wednesday afternoons, for example, I would decide to have a nap or go shopping, which would mean working into Wednesday night and feeling utterly exhausted the next day. Or sometimes it would just mean falling behind on my work which would mean I didn’t have a day off in months (Uni work can catch up on you very quickly). I don’t think I’ll be able to stick to this routine 100% but I think I can stick to it for about 90% of the time, which is enough.
So I’m hoping to be able to stick to this routine and, in doing so, I should be able to get enough work done during the week that I can always have my Sundays to myself. Oh, and on Saturday’s I want to do about 5 hours work, giving myself an extra 3 hours to sleep or socialise. It’s probably going to be an 11-4 working day or something like that, we’ll see!
3. Get Out In Nature At Least Once A Week
I am lucky enough, when I’m home from Uni, to have a beautiful beach literally on my doorstep, as you can see from these photos. But I just don’t make the most of it enough! Every time I visit, I vow to go more often as it’s so relaxing and refreshing to be by the sea. But I always forget or let life get on top of me. So this year I’d really like to get out in nature and head to the beach (or wherever else I fancy in the great outdoors) at least once a week, probably on my day off.
Whether it’s on my own or with my family, friends or boyfriend, I think it will be really beneficial for my mental health. I also think it will benefit me creatively, as I always feel super inspired after getting out in nature!
4. Exercise At Least Three Times A Week
On top of my weekly walk in nature, I’d also like to exercise at least three times a week. I started going to the gym (after a 2 year hiatus) in October, when I was going through a bit of a shit time with my mental health, as I was hoping it would help relieve some stress and clear my head. And it did! It really made me feel better and ‘lighter’. So this year I’d like to commit to exercising three times a week, at least.
It’s an easy habit to fall out of but as long as I’m paying for a gym membership, I generally feel motivated to go as it’s something I can’t really afford so if I am going to be paying for it every month, I feel the need to make the most of it.
I’m also doing Yoga With Adriene’s 30 Days of Yoga challenge this month, which, as the name suggests, means I will be doing yoga every day for 30 days. I’ve attempted this challenge every year for the last few years now, and have completed it a couple of times. It’s difficult both physically and mentally but it also has SO many benefits. Hopefully there will be a blog post on my experience with it when (if) I finish it!
5. Write More For The Love of Writing
I spend A LOT of my time writing, from blog posts to essays to Instagram captions. But I’ve fallen out of the habit of writing for myself, that is writing that is limited to my eyes only. Journalling is something I’ve tried and given up on, and tried and given up on a whole lot over the years and I’m still not really sure how I feel about it. But I’d really just like to pick up a pen and write about my surroundings, my feelings, my day or anything else I fancy more often as it is something I enjoy and I feel as though writing when you know no one else is going to see the words on the page is a really relaxing and freeing experience.
So there we have it! The habits I want to introduce to my life in 2019. Maybe I’ll do an ‘update’ blog post on how they’re all going in 6 months time, and then one at the end of the year? Maybe not though, if they’ve all gone to shit…
But I’m optimistic! I know that implementing all of these habits will have a really positive effect on my life, so hopefully my perfectionist mindset won’t get in the way of them. I’d love to hear about your New Years Resolutions, especially if any of them are centred around self-care, in the comments or over on my social media! Do also let me know if any of you’re thinking of introducing any similar habits into your life as well!
Oh, and FYI, blog posts at Words By Alice are going to be weekly from now on. There might be an extra post every now and then but as a general rule, there will be one new blog post a week every Sunday. So I’ll see you back here next Sunday!
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Having Confidence in Doing Your Own Thing
Having Confidence in Doing Your Own Thing
Photography by Ami Ford.
I'm finally back with a new blog post after a brief hiatus due to a busy couple of weeks and some personal struggles, which I will go into more later in the post. But I've been wanting to write on this topic and share these photos for what feels like forever now and I'm finally getting round to it today. These photos were taken by the incredible Ami Ford, whose work I had admired from afar for some time and so was delighted to be able to shoot with her, and I'm so happy with the outcome! You can find her on Instagram here, Twitter here or visit her website here.
Today's post is inspired by these photos and specifically, the location that these photos were taken in. This was perhaps one of the busiest road in Manchester on the Sunday afternoon we were shooting on, meaning I really had to have confidence in what I was doing as posing in the middle of a very busy road in a bright yellow midi dress with every passerby staring at you with confused/baffled looks can/could have been an uncomfortable situation. In fact, posing for photos in any situation, even if there are only one or two confused onlookers, and sharing them on social media is quite a daunting concept generally and something I'm still trying to become totally comfortable in.
Having Confidence in Doing Your Own Thing
Anything that you do that is a little bit different, especially if it involves self-promotion, is probably going to be scary and weird. Since becoming more confident in doing my own thing, my life has only improved however I'm still not 100% there yet at all. So much so that, after a little (read: huge) wobble after moving to UNI last week, I considered not writing this post as I didn't think I was qualified to discuss this topic. But then I realised that if I wait till I feel totally comfortable in myself and my interests and habits, I'm probably never going to get round to writing it as I don't even know if it's possible to feel that way to such an extent. So I thought I would use this post to discuss the areas of my life in which I'm trying to become more comfortable in doing my own thing whilst also providing some tips to help others do the same.
INTERESTS AND IDEAS: STARTING MY BLOG
The first area in which I've really had to push myself out of my comfort zone is, as you might have guessed from the first part of this post and from previous posts, starting and running this blog. Having a blog, especially one that is fashion/style-based, means you’re constantly having to promote yourself and, at times, bare your soul to the internet, not knowing who's going to see it or what reaction it's going to get. These are the reasons why it took me so long to properly commit to having a blog but, as with most things, now I have it these two things, and everything else that comes along with it, are not so scary at all.
Having Confidence in Doing Your Own Thing
I do still feel a little bit uncomfortable with the self-promotion thing and it's definitely not my favourite part about having a blog, especially in person, but it's something that I've got used to and definitely don't feel scared or embarrassed about anymore. The only advice I really have for starting something you want to do whether it's a blog, a YouTube channel, a music career etc. is just start it. Everyone says this but it's so true. You're going to have to get over being embarrassed about it and, if it's something you feel passionately about and enjoy, you'll get over it so much quicker than you think. Plus, if you're surrounded by good people then they'll support you and if you aren't, at least it will help you realise that there are some shitty people in your life who don't need to be there.
SOCIAL AND PERSONAL LIFE: GOING OUT AND DRINKING ALCOHOL
The next part of my life where I've had to try and do my own thing, and probably the most difficult part for me, is learning how I like to spend my time and realising that this is not how most people my age, in my situation like to do so. Yep, this is the part where I reveal that I'm 19 going on 90, far more inclined to spend my Saturday night watching Strictly Come Dancing then getting drunk and staying up till 5am. I've not always been like this, I used to love a good night out and a drink, admittedly before it was legal/acceptable for me to do so, and I think that's part of the reason why it's mostly not for me anymore.
Having Confidence in Doing Your Own Thing
Some people don't ever grow out of getting drunk and partying but a lot of people do and I think because I started out so early I am just a little bit bored by it now and definitely not excited by it. The other reasons why I've retired from being a party type of girl are much more difficult to navigate as they're purely health related. I've struggled with IBS and anxiety, as you'll probably know if you've read my blog before, for over 2 years now and they are both extremely negatively affected by drinking alcohol and a lack of sleep. I'm not going to go into it too much, because you really don't want to know about my digestive issues, trust me, but after drinking 3-4 ciders on Thursday night, I was not only fairly drunk (I've always been a lightweight but my lack of drinking has only accentuated that) but I spent the entirety of Friday with horrendous stomach pains, meaning I struggled to stand up by the end of the day, plus any feelings of anxiety are multiplied by 100.
This has been quite difficult for me because, as a student, the main activity that my friends engage in is drinking alcohol (FYI: I don't judge them for this at all, everyone enjoys different things and they're just as entitled to enjoy drinking as I am to not enjoy it). However, in my experience, the best thing you can do in these types of situations is be open with people. No one is going to get annoyed with you if you tell them how negatively you feel about doing something (even if your reasons for this aren't health-related) but they might if you cancel on plans last minute with an obviously-fake excuse or constantly decline their plans with no explanations. My friends are always so kind to me about not drinking or not going out and try to make effort with me to organise different types of things to do, meaning I rarely have to force myself through awkward and anxious nights and even worse morning-afters, something that was a weekly affair for me during my first year of UNI when I refused to be honest with anyone about it.
Having Confidence in Doing Your Own Thing
MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES: DEALING WITH ANXIETY
The final thing I want to discuss is dealing with mental health issues and I know this sounds weird because 'doing your own thing' does not usually equate to having anxiety. But I think the most important thing in dealing with a mental health problem is accepting it and being confident that you know what the best things to do for you are and doing them, no matter what anyone else thinks. If you want to eat a pack of biscuits for tea because that's the only thing you feel hungry for and you don't have the energy to make anything else, do it (this is a case study from my life, specifically during the last week). If you feel like you need an extension on an essay or any sort of mitigating circumstances, talk to someone at your school/college/UNI about it.
You're the only person who knows exactly how you feel and you can't be embarrassed about your needs or the way you're feeling and avoid them because no one else is going to be able to guess what you want to do and help you. Something I found difficult last year and over the past week since moving back to UNI is feeling like I need/want to come home because being at UNI makes me anxious. There is such a stigma around going home from UNI, in my experience, because people feel as though they need to 'stick it out' to prove their independence and that UNI is the best years of their life. I felt the same way last year and forced myself to stay for UNI for weeks even though I knew a weekend at home would do me the world of good and I was very much in a position to go home. Now, mostly because of the incredible support of my friends and family, I feel absolutely no shame in coming home for a weekend or even every weekend, because if that's what I need to do to get through the days without a panic attack then that's what I'll do.
I realise this post has been a little bit of a ramble but it's something that I've wanted to speak about for a while and, clearly, have a lot to say about. I hope it's inspired you to do something this week that you want to do for you, whether that's starting a blog, saying no to something you don't want to do or booking an appointment with a counsellor. Be sure to leave me a comment or message me on social media if you want to discuss this topic further or talk about my experiences or your experiences. My DM's on Twitter and Instagram are always open!
Having Confidence in Doing Your Own Thing
Having Confidence in Doing Your Own Thing
Having Confidence in Doing Your Own Thing
Having Confidence in Doing Your Own Thing
Having Confidence in Doing Your Own Thing
Having Confidence in Doing Your Own Thing
Having Confidence in Doing Your Own Thing
Having Confidence in Doing Your Own Thing
Having Confidence in Doing Your Own Thing
Having Confidence in Doing Your Own Thing
Goodbye For Now, Manchester | Reflecting On My First Year of University
Goodbye For Now, Manchester | Reflecting On My First Year of University
I've now officially finished my first year of university which is a very weird feeling as this year has flown by and it doesn't seem so long ago that I was moving into my little room in halls. This year has brought lots of ups and downs but, looking back on it, I know I definitely made the right decision with what I chose to study and the university I chose to study at and I have had a really good experience. So I thought I'd talk a little bit about the best and the worst parts of my first year at UNI, what I've learnt (other than the fact that there's only so many Jane Austen books you can read until you begin to want to bang your head against a wall every time you turn a page) and how I feel different since last September. I wasn't sure about the cliche that university is 'the best years of your life' back in November when my mental health was at a low, but I really do feel now that first year truly has been one of the best years of my life, because of it's difficult times and the things I've learnt from them and, of course, because of all the people I've met, the things I've done and the books I've read. The photos included are taken in my favourite area of Manchester, the Northern Quarter, with some of Manchester's signature graffiti, which I thought were apt for this post.
Freshers week was a weird one for me, as it probably is for everyone, but, really, it felt like freshers lasted for the first two months of university and they were probably two of the best. The novelty of being in a new city and constantly meeting new people was great and any sense of homesickness hadn't really kicked in yet so I was really able to soak everything up in a positive way. I was also really excited about my course as, at this point, it essentially just consisted of reading lots of fiction, listening to people talk about it, and discussing it, which really didn't feel like work to me.
November and December were probably the shakiest periods of my university experience, as I spent most of my time writing essays and less time socialising and the homesickness really started to kick in. It was difficult but it also taught me how to be resilient by myself and, although it didn't feel like it at the time, helped me to become more independent. It was also a time where a lot of the foundations of my current friendships were set, despite everything that was going on in my head, so, really, it was an important period of university for me. And, of course, it was Christmas, my favourite time of the year, which meant making the most of everything Manchester's Christmas scene has to offer from the Christmas Markets to seeing 'Nativity!' at The Palace (a highlight of my year- truly a masterpiece.)
Goodbye For Now, Manchester | Reflecting On My First Year of University
Goodbye For Now, Manchester | Reflecting On My First Year of University
After some much-needed time at home with my family and a couple of weeks of revision, I went back to UNI feeling much better about myself in January and one of the first things I did was sign myself up to the university's counselling service, which helped me immensely and allowed me to enjoy semester two so much more than semester one whilst being in a really good mental place. Whereas the first semester's socialising activities consisted mostly of going out and drinking, I was now socialising in lots of different ways too, which was definitely a really positive thing. With the strike period during February and March came a period of uneasiness as there was nothing forcing me to leave my room and see people but it also allowed me to socialise at different times meaning I could do different things, get some extra hours at work (I worked as a Secondary English Tutor at high schools around Manchester for pretty much the whole year) and spend some more time on my extra-curricular activities, which is when this blog started coming into the works.
The post-strike period is a bit of a blur to be honest but I think it mostly consisted off doing lots of reading, writing essays and spending time with friends and then, before I knew it, I was back home for Easter for a few weeks. This was the period when I actually started my blog and since then, I've been feeling constantly inspired, if also constantly busy. I went back to UNI for a few weeks and juggled probably the most work I've had all year with essays to write, exams looming, lots of extra tutoring hours and writing for my blog 3 times a week but I feel like I managed pretty well and the fact that I was feeling a lot more content in myself and with the people and places around me definitely helped me to de-stress. I then spent a week in Corfu, which I won't go on about because social media has definitely seen enough of that trip, came back to sit my exam and before I knew it it was my final week of first year. This week feels like it was the best yet because Love Island started. No, I'm joking it wasn't because of that although watching Love Island with my friends in eachother's rooms was definitely a highlight of the week and it really was the best week of first year for me. I spent the entire week with my friends and finished it off by going to Parklife, which was one of my favourite weekends and festivals in so long. I said it on my Instagram but it was the best way to end my first year at UNI because it was so much fun. But also because drinking and 'partying' are things that usually make me feel very anxious but it was a totally anxiety-free weekend, which made me feel so happy and proud of myself. The fact that my first year ended in the best way possible makes me feel so optimistic for the rest of my time at UNI.
Goodbye For Now, Manchester | Reflecting On My First Year of University
I'm home now and have been for a couple of weeks and I'm already missing my friends and university generally. Although I'm definitely going to make the most of this summer, I have a new job that I'm loving and have some plans to go away, it's such a nice feeling to know I'm already looking forward to going back to UNI in September because 7 months ago I couldn't have imagined myself feeling this way. I absolutely love studying English Literature, feel so lucky to have met some amazing people and Manchester is such a vibrant and exciting place to be (even if Liverpool will always have my heart). I've learnt so much about myself this year, mostly how obsessed I am with working hard and being busy which, although does carry some negativity which I'm trying to let go of, has made this year very worthwhile and meant I truly have got lots of shit done. With this though, I've realised that grades don't mean everything and have made myself busy in lots of areas of my life, not just UNI, thanks to the reassuring mantra of the student, 'first year doesn't count'. This has allowed me to expand myself in lots of different ways but has also improved my mental health so much and I'm now in the best place I've been in a long, long time.
I'm sure the next two years of university will fly by and so I'm determined to make the most of them in every way. I'd especially like to take advantage of all the wonderful things Manchester has to offer next year as one thing I haven't done enough during first year is explore the city. But, as I said, I have a few months till I'll be back- living in a house not halls (yay!)- so I'm putting that to one side for now so I can enjoy my summer. I hope you've enjoyed this post and I'd love to hear about your university experiences in the comments!
Goodbye For Now, Manchester | Reflecting On My First Year of University
Goodbye For Now, Manchester | Reflecting On My First Year of University
Goodbye For Now, Manchester | Reflecting On My First Year of University
Goodbye For Now, Manchester | Reflecting On My First Year of University
Goodbye For Now, Manchester | Reflecting On My First Year of University
The Pressures of Perfectionism
The Pressures of Perfectionism
Welcome (back?) to my blog! So sorry that I haven't been as regular with posting recently. With a holiday, exams and post-exams celebrating, I've not had much time to sit down and write. But I have 40 minutes till tonight's Love Island so I have plenty of time to write this post and hopefully I will be back to posting on Sundays, Wednesdays and Fridays weekly now.
One of the reasons I've let myself stop posting so regularly is because it's another way of getting over my perfectionism. I'm definitely not a perfectionist in every area of my life but in the areas where I set myself goals, I most definitely am. I'm most regularly setting myself goals within UNI and blogging, so I thought I'd talk a little bit about the pressures of perfectionism in each of these parts of my life.
I decided to discuss this topic in a post with these photos because I very much had an 'ideal image' in mind before shooting them, as I do with most planned shoots, and the outcome wasn't as good as I had hoped. This is partly because we were in a rush whilst taking them but also because they were taken on a busy street in Corfu where lots of people were giving me strange looks and I'm still not totally comfortable with shooting in front of strangers, especially when the people who I'm with/are taking the photos feel the same way.
I was kind of inspired to use this backdrop for my photos by Lucy Williams' recent campaign with Mango. Obviously my photos haven't come out half as good as hers because I didn't have a professional photographer shooting the photos, nor did I have a full day (or maybe even days) to perfect them, plus the backing and support of a major company. Considering the circumstances in which these photos were taken, I should be happy with them and I am after thinking about it! But this is just an example of one of the ways in which I hold myself up to ridiculous standards (and a segway into the rest of the post).
The Pressures of Perfectionism
So, personally, I am mostly a perfectionist academically. This is something I've talked about previously in my post on work-life balance as well as my post on my experience with anxiety, so I won't really go into it too much. But it is interesting to consider how much of the pressure I used to put on myself (and still do sometimes) academically is really created by myself rather than influenced by social factors. The pressure I put on myself during A-Levels was mostly generated by people telling me how difficult they would be and perhaps maintained by the feeling that I would inevitably be letting people down if I didn't do well. Although it really was me and, mostly, no-one else putting this pressure on myself, I think it was created by my social situation i.e. the fact that doing well in A-Levels is seen as the be-all and end-all during sixth form. My first-year of UNI has allowed me to be a lot more laid back because rather than being told that grades mean everything, we are instead told that grades don't matter this year, which has been endlessly helpful for me.
Moving onto university (I'm on a roll with the segways today), this post was actually inspired by conversations I've had with various people about the social pressure of university, particularly inspired by one with my friend Lucy at Parklife festival this weekend. You might be surprised by the amount of people who have dropped out of university this year based on the appearance of their Instagram feeds. Social media definitely suggests that EVERYONE is having a great time at university because, as my friend Katy said, no one is going to post a picture of themselves during one of the (probably) many times that they are crying in their bedroom.
First year of university is difficult for most people but because we are constantly told that it should be 'the best years of our lives' and that we should be extremely social, there's lots of guilt attached to feelings of sadness, boredom and loneliness at university and I think the pressure to be perfect is extremely prevalent here. I'm glad I've been able to share some of my more difficult experiences with university on my blog because it is so isolating seeing people with lots of new friends going out every night on Instagram, when you're spending your 5th night on a run eating leftover bolognese and writing an essay on a Jane Austen novel (I've written on three Austen texts this year which might just have put me off her forever).
But no one, that I know of, is really having an amazing time all the time so just remember that. I'm definitely going to be making more of an effort in second year to talk about some of my more difficult moments at university on Instagram. Even if I don't post a photo of myself crying in bed- because, quite frankly, I don't want to do that and I am 100% sure that no one wants to see it- I might talk a little bit about my shitty week in the caption or on Instagram stories. Not to moan but to prove to anyone who might think that my life is in any way 'perfect' that I have as many shitty times as they do and so they should never feel bad about them or pressured to have to feel better.
My perfectionism is something I'm trying to let go of in all areas of my life and I think I have been able to do so in lots of ways. I'm never going to be totally laid-back and I really don't ever want to be as my motivation and determination has been really good for me in lots of ways. But when it starts to affect my mental health is when I know I've taken it too far and hopefully in ignoring and abandoning any pressures to be perfect I won't have to let it get that far again. My Instagram and Twitter DMs are always open if you want to talk about any of your experiences and if you've gone through anything similar, do get in touch! I hope you've enjoyed this post and that it's reminded you to focus on yourself and ignore any social pressures around you.
The Pressures of Perfectionism
The Pressures of Perfectionism
The Pressures of Perfectionism
The Pressures of Perfectionism
The Pressures of Perfectionism
The Pressures of Perfectionism
The Pressures of Perfectionism
The Pressures of Perfectionism
The Pressures of Perfectionism
Making Your UNI Room Feel Like Home
Moving into UNI halls is most people's first experience of living away from home, and what a weird experience it is. It's the only time in your life when you're thrown into living with people who you've never ever met before and then expected to become best friends with them straight away. Not only this, but your home is literally a corridor. It's a pretty weird experience when you think about it. It's a really fun and exciting one too but something I really struggled with (and sometimes still do) is not feeling at home. The amount of conversations I had with people during the first few weeks/months of UNI about the fact that we all felt like we were on a seriously long primary-school residential trip was crazy. Choosing to live in UNI halls means you have little to no choice about what your living space is going to look like, which can make it feel a little weird (especially when you go into your flatmates bedrooms and realise they're completely identical). This is why it's really important to make it your own. 'Home' is different for everyone but these are some of the things I've done to make my UNI room feel a little more 'me' and I'm hoping they'll be helpful for others too (they're going to be more catered towards living in halls but will obviously work for accommodation in 2nd year and beyond too).
1.Flowers
I only realised the power of fresh flowers fairly recently after I was bought some in February. They brightened up my room so much and the concept of having something that is alive and growing in your room is such a positive one, even if you're only thinking about it sub-consciously. They don't have to be expensive either. These cost £4 from Tesco and will probably last about 2 weeks and you can get them for even cheaper than that. Plus, I didn't even need to buy a vase as this jug that my flatmates stole from Wetherspoons works perfectly.
2. Fairy Lights
This one is a bit of a cliché for students but for good reason! Fairy lights make your room feel so much cosier and look so much prettier. I particularly love these heart attachments I picked up from IKEA to go on top of them. Since buying these, I've definitely started enjoying the appearance of my room a little bit more. I'd also really recommend buying a lamp! It seems simple but it's easy to forget and having a lamp is so much more cozy and less harsh than having your ceiling light on at all times.
3. Decorating My Walls
This is probably the easiest way to make your room feel like your own. As you can see, the designers of my accommodation decided to go for these prison-style brick walls so I was desperate to get them covered. Whether it's with posters, pages cut out from magazines or some of your own photos, in my experience, it's best to cover as much wall space as possible. I picked this poster up on the first week of UNI at the student poster sale (really feeling like a walking, talking cliché in this post) and it was probably the first thing I did to make the room feel like my own. Also, a quick tip, most UNI rooms don't let you use blue tac so get your hands on some adhesive strips! They work in just the same way and won't leave any marks on your walls.
4. Adding A Personal Touch
Pack as many personal photos as you can when you go to UNI. They're such a comfort to have around your room and will always remind you of the people you love if your ever feeling down. I put mine predominantly by my bed as I most often feel down when falling asleep but the more around your room the better!
5. Bed Sheets
This is a super simple one as obviously everyone has to buy bed sheets, so make sure you buy ones you like if you can! They'll be on your bed from the minute you arrive at UNI and will stay there for the rest of the year, so it's important to have ones you like and, in my opinion, ones that really brighten up your room. I was lucky enough to receive this blanket and pillow hand-made as a gift from my wonderful Aunty Chris specifically for moving to UNI and it's the best gift I could have ever asked for as it always reminds me of family and, clearly, brightens up in my room in every way possible. (Also, there is no shame in having a cuddly toy or two as exhibited by my bunny that I got last Christmas who has also significantly helped in making my room feel more homely).
I hope you've enjoyed having a little look into my UNI room. Living in halls has been a weird experience for me but having a room I actually like has made it so much better and really improved the experience. So take some time to think about what you want in your room and how you want it to look next year as it really will make a difference! I'd also love to here what you do to make your room your own! Here are some more photos of my room if you're feeling a little bit nosey:
