How I Wind Down & Relax Before Bed | Dealing with Anxiety at Night
As you may know if you’ve read my blog before (or if you know me in real life), I’m a bit of a worrier. I mean, that’s the understatement of the year to be honest, and we’re only 20 days in!
I’ve suffered with anxiety for a few years now and it’s always at its worse in the evenings. On a good day, my anxiety will start to materialise bit by bit (usually in the from of a stomach ache, feeling sick and/or jittery) as as it starts to get dark, on a bad day I often feel totally unable to cope with the amount of time I’m allowed to be left alone with my own thoughts during the evening.
This is why it has been essential for me to create a relaxing evening routine. I see my evening routine as a ritual, something I do every day to tell my brain that it’s time to settle down and to stop thinking about anything that might be stressing me out. And, so far, having a routine has really helped me.
Some days I do the bare minimum of this routine and sometimes I go all out, depending on how much time I have and how I feel that day. But I thought I’d go through the extended version of it with you step by step, in the hope that it might encourage or inspire you to find ways that you can wind down in the evening, especially if you struggle with them like I do.
I’d also like to point out that skincare is a really big part of how I wind down in the evening and I was actually going to include my skincare routine in this post. But, it’s fairly long and I wanted to go through it in detail so I’ve given it it’s own post, which you can read here if you’d like!
But here are the other ways in which I wind down in the evenings that I’d really recommend to everyone, whether you struggle with nights or not …
RE chocolate on the bedside table: if all else fails resort to something sweet and comforting i.e. your favourite chocolate
1. Relaxing Yoga and/or Meditation
I hope the suggestion of exercise before bed hasn't put you off already! The type of yoga I do before bed isn’t really exercise at all anyway. It’s mostly just lying down, usually with a pillow or blanket and focussing on my breathing, with a bit of easy stretching thrown in there. This is probably the step in my bedtime routine I skip the most due to laziness. But if I’m feeling really stressed or anxious before bed, I’ll always roll out my mat and take this time to myself. The only at home yoga practice I follow is Yoga With Adriene, who creates weekly yoga videos and is just brilliant. She has yoga for every mood but her bedtime yoga practices are particularly great.
Instead, or as well, as yoga, sometimes I do a little bit of meditation. It’s not something I’m totally convinced on as I often just sit there mentally-planning tomorrow’s to do list. But sometimes it does help me take some time for myself when I’ve had a busy/stressful day.
I’ve never done a meditation practice longer than 5 minutes because I’m almost sure I wouldn’t be able to get through a practice longer than that and I don’t want to make myself feel bad, so I stick to the 3-5 minute sessions. I use the app Headspace, although I don’t pay for it so I am very limited on my choice of practices. I would really recommend their beginners series though!
2. A Little Bit of Netflix
This is probably the one that I do manage every night! I’m not a big movie watcher but I LOVE a series. I think I like them because of the familiarity and comfort they provide and also because they’re usually only 30-60 minutes which is a lot more do-able and less intimidating than a 2 and a half hour film.
Anyway, I don’t need to tell you how good Netflix and TV is, you already know. I know the blue lights are supposed to be bad for sleep but, personally, I love the escapism TV provides before bed and it really allows me to get out of my own head and concentrate on something other than my own life. Some of my favourite escapist, easy-to-watch TV shows include Jane The Virgin, Crazy Ex Girlfriend and The Good Place, but there are many more.
3. Sleepy Candles
I was given a lavender candle just over a year ago as a Christmas present and since then, I will never go back. Burning a lavender (or any ‘sleepy’ smelling) candle before bed is so relaxing, not only because of the smell but because lighting a candle really feels like a ritual and a sensory reminder to your body that this is the time to relax.
I’m currently using this candle that I got for Christmas and I also have a This Works one ready and waiting to go, which is very exciting!
4. Some One on One Time with My Current Book of Choice
Even for people who don’t particularly like reading, I think reading before bed is something everyone should try! It might work, similarly to Netflix, in that it allows you to escape your own world, or it might work that you’re so bored you fall asleep. I choose to read before bed because of the former reason but whatever works for you is good!
Sometimes I read 2 pages before bed, sometimes I give myself an hour and read 40- it just depends how I’m feeling and how much university-related reading I’ve already done that day. The book I’m reading in these photos is Refinery29’s Money Diaries, which is all about how to sort your finances out. It’s not exactly the most relaxing book to read before bed, but sometimes because it’s slower it helps me to fall asleep. Plus, I only really like reading one book (for fun) at a time so I just read whatever I’m currently reading before bed. If you’re really struggling with reading, I have a blog post all about how to get back into it.
5. Pillow Spray the Day Away
Finally, we have my ultimate nightly ritual, the pillow spray! I’ve been skeptical of the humble pillow spray before, but after trying it, I don’t think I could ever go back. I use the This Works Deep Sleep Pillow Spray, which smells like a dream. It’s not really the smell that helps me relax though, it’s the ritual of spraying it and telling my body ‘it’s time to relax and sleep now’, much like the candles.
I sometimes use a de-stressing roller ball too if I feel like I need it. I like the This Works one and the Liberty one that they created in partnership with Aromatherapy. I also like doing a face mask before bed. They don’t even have to have a ‘sleepy smell’, I just find them super relaxing, even if it is a cliche. I talk a little bit more about this in my evening skincare routine blog post.
I hope you’re feeling inspired to have a relaxing evening tonight! If you’re reading this on a Sunday, which is when it’s going up, tonight is such a good time to carve out some time to relax and set yourself up for a great week. The time is so worth it as it will do wonders for your mental health, your quality of your sleep and therefore your happiness and productivity levels! If it’s not Sunday, start tonight anyway, I really hope an evening routine helps you as much as it has helped me!
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Goodbye For Now, Manchester | Reflecting On My First Year of University
Goodbye For Now, Manchester | Reflecting On My First Year of University
I've now officially finished my first year of university which is a very weird feeling as this year has flown by and it doesn't seem so long ago that I was moving into my little room in halls. This year has brought lots of ups and downs but, looking back on it, I know I definitely made the right decision with what I chose to study and the university I chose to study at and I have had a really good experience. So I thought I'd talk a little bit about the best and the worst parts of my first year at UNI, what I've learnt (other than the fact that there's only so many Jane Austen books you can read until you begin to want to bang your head against a wall every time you turn a page) and how I feel different since last September. I wasn't sure about the cliche that university is 'the best years of your life' back in November when my mental health was at a low, but I really do feel now that first year truly has been one of the best years of my life, because of it's difficult times and the things I've learnt from them and, of course, because of all the people I've met, the things I've done and the books I've read. The photos included are taken in my favourite area of Manchester, the Northern Quarter, with some of Manchester's signature graffiti, which I thought were apt for this post.
Freshers week was a weird one for me, as it probably is for everyone, but, really, it felt like freshers lasted for the first two months of university and they were probably two of the best. The novelty of being in a new city and constantly meeting new people was great and any sense of homesickness hadn't really kicked in yet so I was really able to soak everything up in a positive way. I was also really excited about my course as, at this point, it essentially just consisted of reading lots of fiction, listening to people talk about it, and discussing it, which really didn't feel like work to me.
November and December were probably the shakiest periods of my university experience, as I spent most of my time writing essays and less time socialising and the homesickness really started to kick in. It was difficult but it also taught me how to be resilient by myself and, although it didn't feel like it at the time, helped me to become more independent. It was also a time where a lot of the foundations of my current friendships were set, despite everything that was going on in my head, so, really, it was an important period of university for me. And, of course, it was Christmas, my favourite time of the year, which meant making the most of everything Manchester's Christmas scene has to offer from the Christmas Markets to seeing 'Nativity!' at The Palace (a highlight of my year- truly a masterpiece.)
Goodbye For Now, Manchester | Reflecting On My First Year of University
Goodbye For Now, Manchester | Reflecting On My First Year of University
After some much-needed time at home with my family and a couple of weeks of revision, I went back to UNI feeling much better about myself in January and one of the first things I did was sign myself up to the university's counselling service, which helped me immensely and allowed me to enjoy semester two so much more than semester one whilst being in a really good mental place. Whereas the first semester's socialising activities consisted mostly of going out and drinking, I was now socialising in lots of different ways too, which was definitely a really positive thing. With the strike period during February and March came a period of uneasiness as there was nothing forcing me to leave my room and see people but it also allowed me to socialise at different times meaning I could do different things, get some extra hours at work (I worked as a Secondary English Tutor at high schools around Manchester for pretty much the whole year) and spend some more time on my extra-curricular activities, which is when this blog started coming into the works.
The post-strike period is a bit of a blur to be honest but I think it mostly consisted off doing lots of reading, writing essays and spending time with friends and then, before I knew it, I was back home for Easter for a few weeks. This was the period when I actually started my blog and since then, I've been feeling constantly inspired, if also constantly busy. I went back to UNI for a few weeks and juggled probably the most work I've had all year with essays to write, exams looming, lots of extra tutoring hours and writing for my blog 3 times a week but I feel like I managed pretty well and the fact that I was feeling a lot more content in myself and with the people and places around me definitely helped me to de-stress. I then spent a week in Corfu, which I won't go on about because social media has definitely seen enough of that trip, came back to sit my exam and before I knew it it was my final week of first year. This week feels like it was the best yet because Love Island started. No, I'm joking it wasn't because of that although watching Love Island with my friends in eachother's rooms was definitely a highlight of the week and it really was the best week of first year for me. I spent the entire week with my friends and finished it off by going to Parklife, which was one of my favourite weekends and festivals in so long. I said it on my Instagram but it was the best way to end my first year at UNI because it was so much fun. But also because drinking and 'partying' are things that usually make me feel very anxious but it was a totally anxiety-free weekend, which made me feel so happy and proud of myself. The fact that my first year ended in the best way possible makes me feel so optimistic for the rest of my time at UNI.
Goodbye For Now, Manchester | Reflecting On My First Year of University
I'm home now and have been for a couple of weeks and I'm already missing my friends and university generally. Although I'm definitely going to make the most of this summer, I have a new job that I'm loving and have some plans to go away, it's such a nice feeling to know I'm already looking forward to going back to UNI in September because 7 months ago I couldn't have imagined myself feeling this way. I absolutely love studying English Literature, feel so lucky to have met some amazing people and Manchester is such a vibrant and exciting place to be (even if Liverpool will always have my heart). I've learnt so much about myself this year, mostly how obsessed I am with working hard and being busy which, although does carry some negativity which I'm trying to let go of, has made this year very worthwhile and meant I truly have got lots of shit done. With this though, I've realised that grades don't mean everything and have made myself busy in lots of areas of my life, not just UNI, thanks to the reassuring mantra of the student, 'first year doesn't count'. This has allowed me to expand myself in lots of different ways but has also improved my mental health so much and I'm now in the best place I've been in a long, long time.
I'm sure the next two years of university will fly by and so I'm determined to make the most of them in every way. I'd especially like to take advantage of all the wonderful things Manchester has to offer next year as one thing I haven't done enough during first year is explore the city. But, as I said, I have a few months till I'll be back- living in a house not halls (yay!)- so I'm putting that to one side for now so I can enjoy my summer. I hope you've enjoyed this post and I'd love to hear about your university experiences in the comments!
Goodbye For Now, Manchester | Reflecting On My First Year of University
Goodbye For Now, Manchester | Reflecting On My First Year of University
Goodbye For Now, Manchester | Reflecting On My First Year of University
Goodbye For Now, Manchester | Reflecting On My First Year of University
Goodbye For Now, Manchester | Reflecting On My First Year of University